“life isn’t about finding yourself, its about creating yourself.”- George Bernard Shaw

            Our first term is winding down here at St. Constantine’s and my batteries are ready for a good recharging. It has been a very interesting experience for me so far, just learning what it is to be a full time teacher and learning the culture of the school and new city. I came here to teach, but I have really been the one who is being taught. It probably is more so that I am exhausted of keeping up with all I’m learning needs to be done then actually my teaching load.

            For the past year I have had a picture of an amazing basketball court in Nepal as my computer screen’s background. On the picture I added the text of the quote by George Bernard Shaw above, “life isn’t about finding yourself, its about creating yourself.” I try to remind myself of this everyday as I am looking to develop my own personal values, beliefs, and practices as a professional now. I am not trying to just find out what the best way of teaching and succeeding in life is. I am working on creating that success in my own way.

            While reflecting on my last 3-4 months I have sometimes become frustrated as I feel like I’m searching with all my might for the right way to do things. Frustrated that when I was used to getting guidance and being directed by rules and procedures I am now left completely on my own in the dark. The quote above though acts as a fire blanket draped over that frustration burning in my brain.

            I could rant about how the quote could apply to interactions between people, and you cant just expect to find anything when you depend on others, so you have to constantly take things into your own hands and create the success. I won’t go into too much of my own thoughts of the quote. I just want to write these thoughts down so I can try to understand the feeling of inspiration I get when thinking about what I have accomplished and even more so the potential for more.

            I was reading a bit of the philosophy of the City Year organization. One of City Year’s keys to Putting Idealism to Work is to think outside the box. When someone thinks outside of the box they are not just finding the solution, but they are the creating the solution. Too many of our ideas and our doings are solely based on other’s guidance or expectations. We search and search and search for this guidance and expectation, and even if we find it there will usually be a flaw.

Nobody is perfect right? I disagree. When we create our own accomplishments we have done something perfectly. I’m talking about creating something that we personally believe is the best for the situation (be it ideas, solutions, objects…ect) and creating it to the best of our ability; Leaving none of our ideals and passions out of it’s creation. If we do this, then we are perfect. There can be no flaws in this creation as it has been done the way we imagined it.

This is the ideal that I have accepted in this past term. I’m no longer going to sit, wait, and try and find my answers and what I need to do. Instead I am going to create it all. I want to do it my way because when I do it will be perfection. If I try and find what others want me to do I will continually be behind, I will keep being left out of the loop and I will feel unaccomplished. Instead I will take what I know is needed at the school and I will do my best to create that in my own way.

Just as George Benard Shaw also said, “Some people see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not?” I want to be one who looks at this school I’m at and ask questions and search for answers. Instead I want to look at the potential of this school and dreams of the school and say why not.

 PJB players no longer basketball players. They are now eagles soaring together as a team. A life created by passion, enthusiasm and love.