Integrity

So I want to start this post with a story. I don’t know how you all were with your parents growing up, but nothing made me happier than when I made my parents proud. In the same way nothing hurt more than when I let my parents down. You know that parents have done it right when their kids aren’t scared of any kind of consequence, but instead they are scared to hurt their parent’s feelings. In the same way the kids aren’t looking for rewards, but just that smile on their parents faces that shows that their parents love them more than anything in the world and are so proud of what their child is accomplishing. I was that kind of child, and I had those kind of parents.

            I have had the times when I look into my parent’s eyes and see the joy that what I am doing with my life makes them proud to be my parents. I have also looked into their eyes and seen the pain of disappointment due to my actions. There is one moment in life that sticks out to me more than any other where I saw the pride my parents had in me, and that happened in the 6^th grade.

            At the end of every school year at Seoul Foreign Middle School we would have class awards ceremonies in which each student would receive an award for the year. The teachers always did a good job of getting everyone an award, and every year they would of course have the big special awards… but I never got any of those. My 6^th grade year I received one of the awards that they just personalized for me like they did every other kid in the class. The award I got was the integrity award, and I really had no idea what that meant.

            When I took the award home and showed my parents I saw a true sense of pride in their eyes that I will never forget. I just threw it on the table angry that I didn’t get best athlete award, but my parents picked it up and explained to me what it meant. They taught me that the academic and athletic awards are rewards for accomplishments, whereas my integrity award was a reward for the person that I was. It was then that I learned the lesson that it is not the action or accomplishment that is important, but it is the motive and character behind it that is really important.

            It is hard to explain the school setting I grew up in and the academic culture of our school. Not only did the administrators and teachers set the standards of the school extremely high, but also it was located in the heart of Seoul where the culture pushed academic competition to unhealthy levels. When the students weren’t in school they would be at SAT prep classes, math classes, and English classes. Test scores and GPA’s were the driving forces in the majority of my peer’s lives and there was hardly anything beyond that, except maybe being part of some resume building after school activities. So even by the time we were in the 6^th grade students were doing anything and everything to get their grades and their accolades. They did what they had to do so that they could achieve.

            My parents raised and taught me differently. I was taught to do what I had to do because it is the right thing to do. Even in the 6^th grade I remember having the attitude that, “I don’t really care what you think, but I am going to do this because it is what I’m meant to do.” The fact that my teachers would see that I was a person of integrity at such a young age is one of the greatest awards I have ever received. After seeing how proud my parents were of me receiving the integrity award I made it a priority to live everyday as a man of integrity, though it is a daily struggle. Ever since the 6^th grade integrity has been the driving value in my life.

            I love looking at the word integrity just for the meaning of the word itself. The two definitions that I lean towards of the word are “moral uprightness” and “the state of being whole and undivided.” (According to my generic computer dictionary) The way I see moral uprightness is doing the right thing all the time. It is very straightforward and easy to understand, but not easy to live out. It is so hard to do what is right in every circumstance of every day, but that is what integrity is. The next definition of being whole and undivided also pairs with this definition of moral uprightness. To be a person of integrity you cant just have a high moral standing, but that moral standing must be who you are. Many people will chose to separate who they are from the decisions they make. These kinds of people can show integrity, but I do not believe that they are people of integrity. To be a person of integrity, one cannot divide themselves from their decisions, but understand that their decisions define who they are. Integrity is just one of the parts of a human that makes them whole, but it is a characteristic undivided from who a person is.

            In life I believe that there is a higher ideal of human being that everyone on earth is striving to become. Religions exemplify this person through their prophets be it Jesus, Mohammad, or Buddha to name a few. We can also see other prominent figures in popular culture that people depict as these ideal personalities such as Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, and Mother Theresa. It is something woven in human nature that there is a higher code of morality that goes beyond our own understanding. It is when this code becomes woven into the fabric of a person’s nature that they become a true person of integrity. They don’t only stand up for what they believe is right, but they have a greater understanding of what is right, and that understanding guides them through life’s toughest decisions.

            Though we as humans ultimately know what is right we often miss the opportunity to do right. To live with integrity is not something that is possible without a conscious effort. It is easy to live in this world to make decisions for our own good and with no greater knowledge than our own understanding. As humans though we must be held to a higher standard of living where we make decisions based on what is best for ourselves as well as those around us. We must search for a greater understanding in even the smallest decisions that we make so that we always make the correct decision.

            This is the way that I see it: We are all part of a complex world and live in it as individuals, but each of us plays in integral role in the world. That word, integral, is very important in explaining the importance of personal integrity.  According to the New Oxford American Dictionary, integral means “necessary to make a whole complete; essential or fundamental.” Each one of us as individuals are necessary to make this world complete, and each one of us plays an integral role in changing the world. To be an effective citizen of the world we must have personal integrity, which by definition means that we are personally whole and undivided. As we can personally become people of integrity, we can achieve our role as an integral part of this world and make the world a better place.

Even when the mighty World Trade Center fell to the ground, it is the integrity of the building that stood for the hope of the future. (Picture from ground zero, 2005)

Widsom

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”- Confucius

Intellect is very important to develop and challenge in an ever changing world. This is why education systems are put in place and children are required to go to school in the majority of countries in the world. Intellect is something that can be conditioned and practiced until it is mastered. Intellect separates the smart from the dumb.

            Though intellect is a foundation for progress in the world I believe that change can only come through wisdom. Wisdom is intellect, but inspired intellect. Wisdom is knowledge that comes from a deep understanding of self and surroundings. I believe that that wisdom is an unwavering knowledge that develops from the spirit of an individual.

            What does that mean, that it develops from the spirit of an individual? Many people can unlock true knowledge just by studying and training their brain to recite facts. This is the great skill of intellect. It is the few people that can search deep within themselves and use their intellect along with their faith and belief in truths that go beyond the realm of physical proof to make a decision.

            Religion is one way in which we can start to understand the importance of wisdom. We see countless times in the bible the mention of wisdom, and God putting those who have wisdom in power. Wisdom is a gift given by God to his people, which is what we see with characters in the Bible such as Solomon. A great passage in the bible which describes wisdom can be found in James 3:13-3:18. It says:

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

            This passage describes wisdom as something greater than what can be acquired here on earth. It describes wisdom as a heavenly quality. It is a heavenly knowledge that is characterized by peace, servant hood, mercy and sincerity. Those who have wisdom have righteousness. Wisdom is also rejoiced in other religions. In the Qur’an in the second Surah it says:

2:167

Those who followed will say, "If only we had another turn [at worldly life] so we could disassociate ourselves from them as they have disassociated themselves from us." Thus will Allah show them their deeds as regrets upon them. And they are never to emerge from the Fire.

2:168

O mankind, eat from whatever is on earth [that is] lawful and good and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy.

2:169

He only orders you to evil and immorality and to say about Allah what you do not know.

2:170

And when it is said to them, "Follow what Allah has revealed," they say, "Rather, we will follow that which we found our fathers doing." Even though their fathers were void of wisdom, nor were they guided?

2:171

The example of those who disbelieve is like that of one who shouts at what hears nothing but calls and cries cattle or sheep - deaf, dumb and blind, so they do not understand.

            Just as the Bible states over and over, so does the Qur’an, wisdom is heaven sent. Wisdom is not something to be achieved through following others, but it is something to be revealed to us by heaven. Just as people of faith are on a quest for sanctity, we are also on a quest for understanding that comes from wisdom.

            Now wisdom can be defined in that spiritual way, but there are many people who do not have faith, but this does not mean they are not seeking wisdom. Wisdom is a knowledge that can be characterized by choice and decision. Sure we can understand the symbiotic relationship between African Oxpeckers and Elephants but that does not make a wise person. It makes us an intelligent person because it does not involve critical thinking, decision making or demand a trust greater than what is known. A wise person is one who can step back from a problem, view it from all angles, throw away any preconceived notions and make the proper decision. Intellect precedes knowledge, knowledge precedes understanding, and understanding develops ones knowledge and intellect into wisdom. It is not about what you know, but how you use what you know. That is how you become wise.

            I value wisdom as the greatest of all qualities because with wisdom comes the understanding that it is not a choice whether or not to be respectful, to have integrity, to serve others or to give your all in everything, but it is an obligation. I want to lead people in a way that shows it’s not a choice whether to be a good person or not. It is everyone’s obligation to not just be a good person, but a great one! It is this wisdom that I have learned from my parents and all the great leaders that I have had in my life that I want to lead with. I want to lead with the wisdom that no matter what the world will be a better place because I am part of it. This is the wisdom I wish to instill in every player I touch and every person I can touch with this blog.

Here is a spoken word poem I wrote on Wisdom… I will try to record it and post it on here soon.

My name is wisdom

Son of love and intellect

Grandson of maturity and respect

Enemy of closed-mindedness

And let me tell you this

The world is in serious trouble

We’ve become so free

Others have no right to be

They’ve been stripped the opportunity to succeed

Happiness and industry

Has been replaced by money and greed

Now days people cant climb the ladder

Without stepping on someone else’s feet

But I am what the world needs

I am the foundation

The father of prosperity

Wisdom is my name

And I am always looking forward

Always looking beyond

Always looking toward

That better day head

When success is measured in self-satisfaction

Not only daily bread

And in those days we will see

A society based on equality

Integrity and unity

We will all live in a perfect and peaceful community

I am wisdom…. Follow me

Expressiveness

Second letter in the acronym ME WISH is the E, which stands for expressiveness. I wanted to put creativity in there, but then the acronym wouldn’t have worked out as well as I planned. Expressiveness is a more powerful word than creativity anyway.

Everyone in the world is creative in his or her own way, but it is how he or she decides to express that creativity which is important. In this way I really value expressiveness. Someone who is willing and able to express him or her confidently is someone who is grounded and understands who he or she is.

A weakness I believe in society today, especially in western society is that we don’t have the confidence in ourselves to express who we really are. We have so much freedom and opportunity to express ourselves yet we shut ourselves off because we aren’t confident in whom we are. Self-expression… true self-expression is a liberating experience as it allows us to make ourselves vulnerable by showing who we really are.

I feel like there is so much that is fake in our lives in the western world because true self-expression is looked down upon. If who we are doesn’t match the standards of what is expected from our parents, our friends, or society in general than we feel we need to conform and instead of expressing ourselves, we hide ourselves. We hide behind our clothes, our accessories, our cars, our money, our music, and all the other comforts that we can lose our true selves in to become something else.

I value expressiveness because when people can express themselves truly you know that they have found themselves. Especially as a basketball coach I wish for nothing more than for my players and those I affect to reach their fullest potential as a human being. It takes a person to understand themselves truly until they can understand what it means to reach their potential. Each person is born different with different gifts. It is up to the individual to unlock those gifts and potentials and express them in a way that leads them to success and happiness. At the end of the day each individual knows who they are, and it is up to them to figure out how to properly express themselves.

It is awe inspiring to watch as a person finds their true self. It is even greater to watch them express that self in a way that fits them so perfectly. That is why the Olympics are so great to watch. That is why I cannot help but fight back emotions as I watch a mother in the stands watching their kid on the basketball court because they know that their kids is exactly who and where they want to be at that exact moment. Parents know, coaches know, teachers know, and leaders all over the world know the feeling of watching true expression and when someone is doing it there is nothing more breathtaking.

Part of expression that I really admire is creativity. I am always searching for ways to express my creativity, but I figure I’m not the most creative person. Only in a goofy way, but I want to try and express who I am through this poem.

I’m vulnerable in a way that I’ve never been before

Right now in life I am searching for who I am

Even though it’s not time I want my life to begin

But that isn’t what the future has for me in store

Now I’m in the city with just my dreams and ambitions with me

Even though opportunity seems empty and dire

I know I have to stay positive and be worry free

Because my time will come and I will achieve my desire

I hope that someday I can look back and say I did it right

And I can tell my kids that I never gave up the fight

I want to be a leader through action that inspires

And I won’t stop until I get there even when my comfort is under fire

I will never give up and never give in

I just wish I knew how to begin

Maturity

            In my acronym for my core values, I put my most important value first and that is Maturity. To be mature means that one has taken personal responsibility for their own character and who they are. Maturity is so important is because it encompasses a wide range of desirable qualities; four of which I believe to be most valuable are Realness, Integrity, Wisdom and Love.

            Also in my core values I include Integrity and Wisdom because they are such important qualities to have, but I don’t think you can describe a mature person without those two qualities as well. While thinking about maturity I quickly jotted down some quick thoughts on the four aforementioned qualities of maturity and how a mature person would exhibit these qualities. Also I added some character traits that a mature person would develop from having that specific quality.

Realness	Character Traits
Someone with maturity knows who they are and sticks with it. There is nothing fake about this person. They will not boast, show shame, arrogance or prejudices for they are real through and through. Their confidence is in their character, not in the belittling of others.	Poise Confidence Self-Esteem

Integrity	Character Traits
A mature person is honest and loyal. They have a solid moral and ethical foundation and can be depended upon to stick to those foundations. A mature person will always keep their promises, live up to their commitments, and will always be responsible.	Trust Respect Responsibility

Wisdom	Character Traits
More than smarts, a mature person is wise. They have the knowledge to use intellectual ability as well as decision making to always do what is right. A mature person is one who can guide through and step up in tough situations. A wise person does not fear for they understand how to make decisions and always do what is right.	Decision Making Leadership Spirituality

Love	Character Traits
A mature person can love. It takes a strong person to truly love. A mature person focuses on the good of those around them. This person can lose themselves for the good of others. They have compassion and show forgiveness. A mature person is accepting of all and can love even their enemy as they love themselves.	Teamwork Sportsmanship Hard-work

Values

        Every person loves their freedom! It is the foundation of democracy and the desire of people all around the world, but no person can live a life with pure freedom. If we were completely free then we are in this world as wandering individuals. We have nothing grounding us and nothing guiding us. I don't believe that we could survive in a completely free world.

        We, as human beings, need core values to ground us and guide us through our life. Without core values we are as good as feeder fish who are on earth to just get gobbled up by society. When you look at successful people and organizations they have a mission which is strongly based in a set of shared values. For example the Army has an acronym for their core values, LDRSHIP. If you were to ask any soldier what the core values of the Army are they would be able to recite them to you because their whole life is grounded in those values as soon as they sign their name over to service. LDRSHIP stands for:

Loyalty

Duty

Respect

Selfless Service

Honor

Integrity 

Respect

        While in Africa working for Promo Jeune Basket, one of our first organizational meetings focused on the formation of our core values. Dario Merlo, the organization founder, understood the importance of grounding our organization by developing a set of values to guide our organization through it's development. I truly believe that the meeting we had on developing our organization's values in early November 2011 set the tone for the fast growth of the organization. Though the Army has a set seven core values, we at PJB wanted to keep our values short and concise so as to be understood by all of our employees and players. Here are our core values with a brief explanation behind our thoughts on what each value means:

Discipline- When a person shows discipline, they show maturity. A disciplined person shows integrity, responsibility, and the heart to do what it takes to become successful. It takes great discipline to change the world, and at PJB we demand that every member, from administrator to player, shows this quality so that together we can change to world.

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” -Jim Rohn

Hard Work- There is no substitute for hustle. People are born with different talents, and different levels of skill, but it is how a person uses that skill that really matters. Without hard work great things can never be accomplished. Hard work involves great effort but it cannot be defined only by effort. At PJB we define hard work as poised, wise, and enthusiastic effort for a cause that is bigger than one’s self.

“What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.”- Stephen King

Team Spirit- We demand much more than just teamwork at PJB, we demand team spirit. Each and every member will work cooperatively to be successful and every role that is played within the organization is not just depended on, but it is celebrated. PJB members enjoy the collective responsibility and thrive within the team-centered environment not because they have to, but because they understand that they are part of a team. At PJB we want our players and staff to lose themselves for the team.

“As we look ahead to the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.” –Bill Gates

        So throughout this year I have been focusing on really finding what it is that guides my life. What are those core values that I have lived by and want to guide me through the rest of my life. I came up with an acronym so that I can always have the ready to go, which is ME WISH. 

Maturity

Expressiveness

Wisdom

Integrity

Selfless Service

Hard Work

        I wanted to share these values with you, so throughout the next week or so I am going to post on each of these topics because I need to get back into my blog game. I hope that you guys take into consideration your own values and if you haven't been living by any, I encourage you to even take 5 minutes and write down what is really important to you and start living everyday by those values.

Longing

I don’t know how many of you keep up with the news these days, but if you don’t know the situation in Northeast DRC is very unstable. A group of rebels who defected from the army and some defectors from the Rwandan military have teamed up to form a movement known as M23. Their formation took place out in the bush on March 23, 2012, hence M23. I know some of you might have been thinking that they named their rebel group after Michael Jordan and stood for Michael 23, but if you thought that you would be very wrong.

            I remember well where I was March 23^rd, 2012 even though it had nothing to do with rebels. On March 23^rd I woke up from my bed in the Himbi Quarter of Goma, DRC (the Capital of the province North Kivu, in Northeastern Congo) with a pretty bad stomachache due to the spigot water I drank the day before while playing some basketball with my players. I jumped on my bike and rode 10 kilometers into the center of town to set up for the inauguration of the basketball court that PJB had just finished constructing. We spent the day setting out chairs, finishing up some paint jobs and preparing the court for inauguration games. The day was filled with excitement as we presented our finished product of a basketball court to the people of Goma.

            Though within the capital of the province we were celebrating and watching basketball, up north a rebel leader, Bosco Ntaganda, was rallying troops to fight against the Congolese military. Now it is almost 4 months later and I am sitting on the comfortable white couch perched in the corer of our extremely small but cozy living room in St. Clair Shores, Michigan. Meanwhile my players, my friends, and people who took me in as family are going about their daily life in Goma except they know that any day now a group of rebel soldiers (now stationed just about 10 km outside of the city) could take to their town and turn it in to a war-zone against the Congolese military.

            Have you ever longed for something so bad that it makes you feel sick to your stomach thinking about it? It’s not really even a bad thing, even though you feel sick, but it’s that you want something so bad that your body physically reacts just at the thought of that one thing. It is a common occurrence in my life. Even though I seem to be laid back and unemotional, I long so much for things to go well and things to be right that almost daily I feel queasy at the thought of what I want to accomplish.

I can put it in perspective for those of you that are athletes, artists, or just performers on any stage in life. It could be a concert you playing in, a business meeting you are speaking at, or a couple free throws you are about to take before the buzzer sounds at the end of the game. At some point in life you have probably had that feeling where you feel like you are going to throw up in a pressure situation. Now I know we could go into the scientific and psychological reasons for this feeling, but that’s not important. Many people explain this queasy feeling as something that is triggered by fear or nervousness. I beg to differ as I see it as a feeling of longing.

            Longing is defined as a strong persistent yearning or desire. You could substitute words like hunger, thirst, and crave to describe the feeling of longing. Longing is the same feeling you get when your so hungry and your stomach hurts, or that you just crave a piece of pizza so bad that you could just throw up. To long for something though does not mean that you have to be fearful or nervous of it not occurring. Longing for something should be that you want it so bad that your body and mind react together to accomplish exactly what it is that you want. Just like when you are hungry you will probably go to the kitchen and cook something up, or if you crave pizza you will drive down to Little Ceasars and pick up a Hot-N-Ready.

            Daily I have been waking up with my stomach in knots. I fall asleep longing for information from my friends in Congo, telling me that they are fine. I crave the feeling of waking up in the morning with a purpose to work and be productive. I hunger to meet new people and reconnect with people I already know so that I can leave a lasting (good) impression on their life just as I know they will mine. I thirst for the knowledge and love that can be found within this world through learning, relationships and prayer.

            It is a daily occurrence that I feel all of these things. My longing to be great and to change the world has led me to so many great things, and I am so impressed daily by the wonders of this world. I hope that each and every person that reads this (and I hope a lot of you do) can have the same passion for life that I do!

            Now it is my time though to ask for prayers for those I left behind in Goma and the surrounding areas. It should never be forgotten that there are people who live in a world that their only longing is for safety and comfort, whose only hunger is for a hearty healthy meal, whose only thirst is for clean and healthy drinking water, and who crave a better life. Though the people of North Kivu have lived through a couple decades of this same situation we cannot let them leave our thoughts and prayers. It is my longing that one day we will find a way to end war, to end poverty, and to end injustice so that the world can live happily in peace as a community of global citizens who crave to change the world for the better.

May the world great you with a smile every morning. And may you smile right back!

Irish Blessing

Its been a long time since I have been able to get on here and put up a post. I let myself down last time, when I was trying to do 10 posts in 10 days. I had 8 posts written, but I was getting so frustrated with the Chinese internet and the fact that they blocked my blog, so I couldnt post, that I stopped doing the posts and gave up on my goal... Sad day.

Anyway, now I am back in the states and ready to get my blog game proper, and hopefully I will be able to write on here more often. I will try to recap my crazy past year, write about some things that have been on my mind, and of course Basket!

So I've been listening to the new MMG album (disclaimer: parents or relatives I dont suggest you go looking for the CD because some of the themes and language will offend you) and Wale give a little Irish blessing before he goes off in "Power Circle" (edited in my words):

"May the wind be at your back

May the bad be in your past

May the kids take all your good

And your wife have class

And you realize your goals

And what’s life without grind

Those people, yo people?

Hope them people real as mine"

After hearing Wale do it, and the fact that every time I hear an Irish blessing in the movies or at a wedding I get inspired, I figured that I could have a go at trying an Irish blessing. So here it goes I guess:

May you keep the future in your hands

and your dreams within reach

May you exhibit truth in word and deed

and be real for all your fans

May you model success for all who seek

and be wise in times seemed dire

May you give everything your best

and love unconditionally

and never forget to smile

For you will make the difference

This is my blessing on you all.

here is a picture of the baltic coast for you to bask in it's beauty (Riga, Latvia)