So I want to start this post with a
story. I don’t know how you all were with your parents growing up, but nothing
made me happier than when I made my parents proud. In the same way nothing hurt
more than when I let my parents down. You know that parents have done it right
when their kids aren’t scared of any kind of consequence, but instead they are
scared to hurt their parent’s feelings. In the same way the kids aren’t looking
for rewards, but just that smile on their parents faces that shows that their
parents love them more than anything in the world and are so proud of what
their child is accomplishing. I was that kind of child, and I had those kind of
parents.
I
have had the times when I look into my parent’s eyes and see the joy that what
I am doing with my life makes them proud to be my parents. I have also looked
into their eyes and seen the pain of disappointment due to my actions. There is
one moment in life that sticks out to me more than any other where I saw the
pride my parents had in me, and that happened in the 6th grade.
At
the end of every school year at Seoul Foreign Middle School we would have class
awards ceremonies in which each student would receive an award for the year.
The teachers always did a good job of getting everyone an award, and every year
they would of course have the big special awards… but I never got any of those.
My 6th grade year I received one of the awards that they just
personalized for me like they did every other kid in the class. The award I got
was the integrity award, and I really had no idea what that meant.
When
I took the award home and showed my parents I saw a true sense of pride in
their eyes that I will never forget. I just threw it on the table angry that I
didn’t get best athlete award, but my parents picked it up and explained to me
what it meant. They taught me that the academic and athletic awards are rewards
for accomplishments, whereas my integrity award was a reward for the person
that I was. It was then that I learned the lesson that it is not the action or
accomplishment that is important, but it is the motive and character behind it
that is really important.
It
is hard to explain the school setting I grew up in and the academic culture of
our school. Not only did the administrators and teachers set the standards of
the school extremely high, but also it was located in the heart of Seoul where
the culture pushed academic competition to unhealthy levels. When the students
weren’t in school they would be at SAT prep classes, math classes, and English
classes. Test scores and GPA’s were the driving forces in the majority of my
peer’s lives and there was hardly anything beyond that, except maybe being part
of some resume building after school activities. So even by the time we were in
the 6th grade students were doing anything and everything to get
their grades and their accolades. They did what they had to do so that they
could achieve.
My
parents raised and taught me differently. I was taught to do what I had to do
because it is the right thing to do. Even in the 6th grade I
remember having the attitude that, “I don’t really care what you think, but I
am going to do this because it is what I’m meant to do.” The fact that my
teachers would see that I was a person of integrity at such a young age is one
of the greatest awards I have ever received. After seeing how proud my parents
were of me receiving the integrity award I made it a priority to live everyday
as a man of integrity, though it is a daily struggle. Ever since the 6th
grade integrity has been the driving value in my life.
I
love looking at the word integrity just for the meaning of the word itself. The
two definitions that I lean towards of the word are “moral uprightness” and
“the state of being whole and undivided.” (According to my generic computer
dictionary) The way I see moral uprightness is doing the right thing all the
time. It is very straightforward and easy to understand, but not easy to live
out. It is so hard to do what is right in every circumstance of every day, but
that is what integrity is. The next definition of being whole and undivided
also pairs with this definition of moral uprightness. To be a person of
integrity you cant just have a high moral standing, but that moral standing
must be who you are. Many people will chose to separate who they are from the
decisions they make. These kinds of people can show integrity, but I do not
believe that they are people of integrity. To be a person of integrity, one
cannot divide themselves from their decisions, but understand that their
decisions define who they are. Integrity is just one of the parts of a human
that makes them whole, but it is a characteristic undivided from who a person
is.
In
life I believe that there is a higher ideal of human being that everyone on
earth is striving to become. Religions exemplify this person through their
prophets be it Jesus, Mohammad, or Buddha to name a few. We can also see other
prominent figures in popular culture that people depict as these ideal
personalities such as Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, and Mother
Theresa. It is something woven in human nature that there is a higher code of
morality that goes beyond our own understanding. It is when this code becomes
woven into the fabric of a person’s nature that they become a true person of
integrity. They don’t only stand up for what they believe is right, but they
have a greater understanding of what is right, and that understanding guides
them through life’s toughest decisions.
Though
we as humans ultimately know what is right we often miss the opportunity to do
right. To live with integrity is not something that is possible without a
conscious effort. It is easy to live in this world to make decisions for our
own good and with no greater knowledge than our own understanding. As humans
though we must be held to a higher standard of living where we make decisions
based on what is best for ourselves as well as those around us. We must search
for a greater understanding in even the smallest decisions that we make so that
we always make the correct decision.
This
is the way that I see it: We are all part of a complex world and live in it as
individuals, but each of us plays in integral role in the world. That word,
integral, is very important in explaining the importance of personal
integrity. According to the New
Oxford American Dictionary, integral means “necessary to make a whole complete;
essential or fundamental.” Each one of us as individuals are necessary to make
this world complete, and each one of us plays an integral role in changing the
world. To be an effective citizen of the world we must have personal integrity,
which by definition means that we are personally whole and undivided. As we can
personally become people of integrity, we can achieve our role as an integral
part of this world and make the world a better place.
Even when the mighty World Trade Center fell to the ground, it is the integrity of the building that stood for the hope of the future. (Picture from ground zero, 2005)
